God walked in, wearing his scrubby little dressing gown, and asked if I was looking at pictures of war dead. I told him no. He was sagely satisfied and mentioned that apparently it was OK as long as they were taken by Americans, otherwise it was an affront to the Geneva Convention. God is all about conventions. He thought Hussein's boys would be a trifle miffed at the idea as well, but since they didn't go to His Heaven he didn't really care and do we have any Corn Flakes?

Later, when God had his Holy Constitutional and had read the TV Guide front to back, he stretched and inquired about Matlock. "It's on pretty much any time in at least one country if you have cable", he noted. I pointed out that He hadn't seen fit to wire our home with cable but that I was sure Matlock was indeed playing in Taiwan or Bombay or somewhere at this very moment. He said that he could find out rather easily but wasn't really inclined to at the moment. I noticed he'd found a loose thread in his robe to worry with.

When the news announced that there was more fighting somewhere and America or Britain or Australia were involved, God stood up and said "I'm going back to bed 'til this is over". He said he hoped there were no more pictures of war dead, but if there were he was sure the Americans would do it and would say they had His OK. God was tired and couldn't be bothered.